Welcome! Why I made this site, and a sort of mission statement?

Date: 2024-12-25

i've been thinking about how i have this sort of...i dunno how to say exactly, but this sort of desire? need? for some sort of outlet whereby some stray thoughts could theoretically be observed

i'm something awful 2003 regdate and religiously wrote on livejournal when it was new and had a twitter in college in 2008 years old and i deleted all of my social media (twitter, insta, facebook, tiktok) several years ago and have always fought this sort of compulsion that had been engendered into me since as long as i could remember to post thoughts out into the ethers

i think it's what twitter originally captured back when it came out--because all of us who hopped on it back then were all veterans of Livejournal/Xanga/Myspace and all of us who used those were veterans of having a geocities page where we just wrote about random stuff (for me it was Babylon 5 lmaoooo)

anywho it's a weird feeling because like, i've never wanted a following of any sort--and i never have had one. i think a "requirement" for such an outlet is literally just the possibility of someone seeing it. it's also not just about putting my feelings out there--I'm a daily journaler and have been for years and years and years.

it's not a desire to be a part of a community per se, and it's not a result of offline loneliness or longing or anything like that; i'm happily married and i have a very comfortable and fulfilling personal and professional life.

it's also not constant. i used to belong to an online community--the first one i'd felt comfortable in in my adulthood--that i no longer belong to, and i never really felt this need then, and when I left that community i didn't feel a longing for this sort of sharing/outlet/whatever at first. it took many months--until now, basically.

so what is this feeling? i don't know, exactly. habit? boredom? some sort of desire for a connection different than the ones i have offline? who stinkin' knows. cohost seemed as good a place as any, as a result of not having to integrate into any sort of pre-built community somewhere else and also as a result of it being kind of seemingly tucked away into a corner of the internet, but it finally died, which left me internet homeless again.

so in an effort to more or less go back to my roots i decided to spin up a very tiny corner of the internet here of my very, very own. coded on my own, with no social media nonsense, no algo, no comments, no nothing except what comes out of my own brain!

this site is going to function as a place to help me remember what I watched/played/read/etc and what I felt about those things. oftentimes I have feelings or thoughts about a piece of art I consume or a game I play that just want to be typed out, and so it'll be nice to have a place where, for instance, I can say that Gunbuster rocks (at least so far, as of episode 5) while also being a place I can say that I really didn't like Disco Elysium (which seems to be a crime everywhere else i guess)

if you're another human being reading this somehow, hello! happy to have you! hope you're at least somewhat interested in what I have to say!